My annoyance with gas pumps...

I hate getting gas. Absolutely despise it. It was so much easier 10 years ago when you get swiped a card and pumped gas. Now a days these pumps want your life story. Instead of taking 5 minutes total to pump your gas, it takes 5 minutes of answering the gas pumps questions before I can even pump.

Gas Pump: Please swipe your card
Me: Okay... swipe.
Gas Pump: Is this credit or debit?
Me: Credit
Gas Pump: Will you enter your zip code, please?
Me: Okay... (stalker)
Gas Pump: Would you like a car wash?
Me: No, I want gas.
Gas Pump: What kind of gas would you like?
Me: The cheapest shit you have.
Gas Pump: Would you like to use your Kroger card for an additional 10cents off?
Me: No. I just want to get gas.
Gas Pump: Lift nozzle and select fuel grade.
Me: THANK YOU. Do you need anything else? Date of birth? Social? Eye Color?

Shockingly it doesn't ask for you to take a quick survey. Because after the continuous answering of constant questions from Mr. Pump #3 I mine-as-well have already completed a survey. I always find myself talking to the pump, getting annoyed; and I always catch myself asking questions back being a total smart ass of course.

So Dear Gas Station People,

Please get rid of these ridiculous, annoying, talkative, lecturing, survey giving gas pumps. I want to SWIPE AND PUMP! Period.

Just a little fishy...

I have had some type of hormonal surge over the past week that has caused my face to do unreal things. Never have I been the girl with acne (knock on wood) and I don't plan on being that girl at almost 30. However, I have had a for real breakout this week, ALONG with this red dry patch on my face. First thought was... 

"YAY! I'm pregnant!" 

But no, First Response cleared that up for me. I suppose it's stress related. Or my diet. Either way, it totally sucks. 

I have always been a big Vitamin E fan. I love that stuff. I take it every morning and always use it on cuts, scars, pimples, chap lips, and all skin in general. It's a miracle vitamin, seriously. So today as I was trying to do everything in my power to remedy my breakouts I decided to quit trying "Internet methods" and just stick to Vitamin E. So after a full 14 hours of constantly applying it to my blemish, and visible results I might add the husband came home. 

He walked in, kissed me and said, 

"You smell really weird."

Thanks?? 

At that moment, I SMELLED it also. It was not the smell of Vitamin E, but rather the smell of Fish Oil. 

Oh My Heavens... I totally messed up! The two supplements LOOK and FEEL the same. Same clear, oblong capsule. Same light brownish oil inside. But NOT the same thing at all. 

Horrified as I was that I might have royally screwed myself I immediately began my Internet research (Which DON'T EVER do this. You always shut the computer thinking you have cancer or some weird and rare disease. WebMD is the devil.) Much to my dismay, I didn't have a flesh eating bacteria but rather had done something right! Fish oil is GOOD for your skin. WHEW! 

Apparently the omega-3 fatty acids are really good for your heart AND your face! 

Thank you, Jesus! 

My face isn't going to fall off, and yes I made a mistake. But it turns out the worst part of my mistake is that my face smelled like a fish. And if that is the worst part, I'm cool with it! 

New Juice and my issue with Barbie...

I'm not a health freak, like... at all. I smoke, I love Coke Zero, I never work out, and I'm all about something fried. HOWEVER, I do not expect my children to be the same way. I'm not all hippie-granola over what they eat/drink but I do try and provide them with products that aren't 100% bad for them. My one issue with this is juice. Juices are never actual juice. But rather are watered down sugar water full of additives and crap. My kids are humans, not hummingbirds so I think they deserve more than sugar water. 

If I had the time, which I don't so it's a moot point I would squeeze them fresh juice everyday. And I was getting really tired of giving them juice that contains 5% juice! It's just not good for their insides, the hyper-level, and not to mention their little perfect teeth! So low and behold while I was at HEB the other day I found them a new juice! It's actually a new and improved Juicy Juice which shocked the hell outa' me seeing that the OLD Juicy Juice was straight sugar!

And Parks (who hated apple juice) LOVES IT! Yay!

This stuff is awesome and you can actually TASTE the apple! It's like a real apple in your mouth. It's delicious, and after hating apple juice for my near 30 years of life I actually LIKED THIS ONE! Shocking!

The New Juicy Juice 'Fruitfuls' contain not 5%, but 60% juice! Yes, it's not 100% but really... you can't find any juice that is 100% these days. It's convenient little boxes that the kids can take with them and it's not nearly as bad for them as Capri Suns, etc...

So YAY for that!

Onto the Barbie issue:

Teagan loves Barbies. I did also when I was little but now as a grown adult I look at her and think "This is not normal". I actually read an article the other day "Life Size Barbie's Shocking Dimensions" and was horrified! Not horrified about the truth behind the unrealistic body image Barbie portrays but rather that little girls all want to be and look like Barbie at some point and that is not healthy.

(click here to continue reading)

The Unrealistic Barbie

Teagan loves Barbies. I did also when I was little but now as a grown adult I look at her and think "This is not normal". I actually read an article the other day "Life Size Barbie's Shocking Dimensions" and was horrified! Not horrified about the truth behind the unrealistic body image Barbie portrays but rather that little girls all want to be and look like Barbie at some point and that is not healthy.

I wonder how many little Barbie enthusiasts end up being anorexic and/or bulimic because of the infatuation with this doll? How many little girls grow up and constantly get sliced and diced through plastic surgery to have a somewhat more Barbie look? It's scary actually. Why isn't Barbie a NORMAL girl? Normal dimensions, like you know... "36-34-36" NOT "39-18-33".

The article's states that, ""If Barbie were an actual woman, she would be 5'9" tall, have a 39" bust, an 18" waist, 33" hips and a size 3 shoe. She likely would not menstruate and she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions."

THAT my friends is disgusting! And NO ONE should want to look like that. It's horrifying and misleading to little girls who want so badly to look like this doll. I would like to see a normal Barbie! Throw her a pimple, some braces, and make her in that awkward stage all girls go through. THAT would be less misleading than the real Barbie.

So there is my rant. My opinion on the Barbie infatuation! Let's make sure to tell our daughters that beauty is within and NOT how big your waist is and how large your boobs are. You can still be stunning at 5'2", weighing in at 140 with an A-cup and brown hair. Barbie portrays something unnatural and in my opinion unhealthy.

Just sayin'.

Reference:

Katz, N. (2011). Life-size Barbie's shocking dimensions. Would she be anorexic?. Retrieved from http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20055694-10391704.html

My Personal Ultimate Body Wrap Experience

As you may know (and those of you who don't, should listen). I am a distributor for It Works! Global, which is a multi-level marketing company who sells health & wellness products. The hottest product on the market is solely owned by It Works and is the ONLY body applicator (wrap) on the market. I finally got around to wrapping myself and wanted to share the results. 

Granted, this occurred over a month ago but I am slow these days and am just now getting around to this. So... Here are my results which will follow with more information on these amazing 100% natural products. 

Before the wrap ------> 5 hours later

Before ------> 13 hours after

13 hours after ------> 36 hours after

These wraps tighten, tone, and firm skin. Along with that amazing aspect, the ingredients in them are knosn to diminish the appearance of cellulite, scaring, and stretchmarks. These things are amazing and are changing lives DAILY! 

The Ultimate Body Applicators can be purchased in boxes of four wraps which is considered an entire application. You wear one wrap every 72 hours until you reach your goal. A box of four can be purchased as a loyal customer for $59.00 or retail for $99.00. 

THIS IS NOT WATER LOSS! I cannot stress that enough. These wraps do NOT dehydrate you like other spa wraps. These results last. It is actually very, very important to drink a ton of water while wrapping because that water is flushing toxins that the wraps are pulling out; so NO! these are not water loss/semi-permanent results. 

For more information you can email me directly @ houstonhousewife@gmail.com or browse my website which you can be directed to by clicking the "SHOP" button on the top of the blog:) Check out the other amazing products It Works has to offer! 

If you are interested in becoming a distributor, working from home, and achieving financial freedom please feel free to contact me about distribution opportunities! 

Just a "shitty" day....

Let's face it. We all have shitty days. What is it that Forest Gump says? Oh, that's right. 

"Shit Happens" 

This is by far the most accurate quote of life. "Shit Happens". And today shit actually happened, like literally. 

Parks who is 2 1/2 is potty training but is still sleeping in his Pamper because, well, Mommy doesn't want a mess on his bed. However, today proved that regardless of Pampers messes do occur and in shit form. 

I went to wake up Parks from his nap and was slapped in the face with a pungent odor. Smelled more or less like an outhouse/porta-potty sitting in the115 degree Phoenix, Arizona sun. It was horrid. Then I saw my child standing in the center of his room COVERED in his doodoo. Literally. Covered. 

Not only did he try and clean his Pamper out himself (which I don't blame him, doodoo pants is probably the pits) he decided to finger paint with the doodoo which was retrieved from the Pamper. 

FANTASTIC! 

Yes, folks. That is an actual doodoo masterpiece and Parks was quite pleased with himself. Standing there clapping and "yay'ing" like he had done something AMAZING! I couldn't be mad, I just died laughing and asking myself "WHY?"

So, after two containers of Clorox wipes, a good thorough lysol application and a hardcore cleaning session, Parks room was clean and shit free. Never underestimate the saying "Shit Happens", because it actually does. Both in literal and figurative form. 

Welcome to motherhood.